I am a terrible friend and mother to my dog....

Started the weekend off right by pissing off my roommate again, mulitple times! I feel like I am truly at the point where I can't do anything right so why bother trying. It doesn't matter if there's a reason behind what I do, she never bothers to ask and I don't like trying to talk to someone who acts like they hate my guts. I just want things to go back to "normal" whatever that is.

I'm over it, I just want things to be somewhat civil for the holiday, it's already hard enough for me not being able to go home. My roommates are having their family over for X-mas eve and I think it was implied that I would just be there but now I'm not so sure if I'm welcome at their family party of if I should make myself scarce just to avoid the whole awkwardness.

I also babysat this weekend, something I haven't done since I was oh I don't know 13. Not that it was a bad thing, I just felt bad being so hungover!! My former bosses kids are great, well behaved and I felt really bad for her son when he swallowed his loose tooth and was bummed because he didn't think the tooth fairy would still come! Her daughter is a riot!! Every commercial on TV for a toy she would say "I want that!" She did con me into not letting her not take a nap though, darn kids are sneaky even at a very young age! I just hope she wasn't too fussy later in the night for her parents. Later that night I went out with my friend to Disney to see the Osborne Festival of Lights which never ceases to amaze me every year!! Puts me somewhat in the holiday spirit plus they have my favorite type of snow..FAKE!

On to my being hungover on Saturday though, friday night the shots crept back into my life, but I did get to see my ex from MA his best friend. She was in town visiting and I hadn't seen her in 2.5 years!! It was (as they say on the east coast) wicked fun. But I definitely paid for it the next day. I was unable to drive home so I went to R's house because it was close and that led to me pissing off M for the 2nd time because I didn't make it home to let out Sydney and in my drunkeness I didn't think to text her (not use to having to "check" in with anyone so it didn't cross my mind) so she woke her up barking at 6:30 am needing to go out. Here's where I get pissed though, I always take her dog out whenever I take my dog out, I'm not going to make poor B sit at the door just because she's not my dog. I seriously doubt she lets my dog out and when she does she makes sure to let me know like it's a huge inconvenience. Before I had my dog I still always let hers out, I never minded. I'm just so over the bullshit. I feel like she's making a list and everytime I do something it's like oh! put that down A was bad again!!! BAD FRIEND!!! So i woke up at R's at 6:30 to a very lovely voicemail informing me that I am a terrible mother to my dog. At this point, I'm at a loss with how things can ever be "normal" again. Whatever bad things I have done or not done it is in the past, I cannot change whatever it is she feels I have done to wrong her, nor can she fix how I feel she has wronged me. I'm leaving it where it is in the past. Forward is the only way to go and I'm standing at a crossroad waiting for her to join me on the path to fixing our friendship, but I can't go down the road alone. There are two of us in this situation and two of us have to fix it.

I was really proud of myself though I went home after Disney and went to bed at 10:30 saturday night! I read Twilight for a little bit and then I was asleep before midnight. I did however participate in Sunday Funday yesterday and am paying the price for feeling shitty all day today. For some reason I never had an appetite this weekend. Saturday the only thing I ate the entire day was a pretzel with cheese. weird and sunday i had some soup, a slice of pizza and a few bites of pot roast. Not sure what is going on with my lack of appetite. Stress? who knows. I'm just ready to be through this week, looking forward to having some time off for the upcoming holidays!!!